Tough Stuff

01/09/2010 Human Observations

People see what they want to see, which contradicts objective reasoning or good judgment. Consider the spousal complaints that precede divorce. Often, the things that appeared to be small during the “chemical beginnings” (the dopamine effect) of a relationship, slowly become disagreeably large as familiarity increases. This tendency is fairly well known, yet when under the influence of “dopamine”, good judgment surrenders to euphoria. With experience, an individual acquires a presence of mind amidst such euphoria, able to enjoy the experience for its value, without losing objectivity. Those of us who despise manipulation have the advantage of recognizing true value, even in an atmosphere that would artificially inflate our confidence concerning what we think we know about our mate. The desire for acceptance by that mate must be balanced with clear vision. Eve was deceived in Eden, which resulted in her death; Adam chose to attach himself to her experience as her mate even though doing so meant his death also. Jesus, our Messiah, chose death because that’s what was required for us to again be Re-united with God. He sees us for what manner of folks we truly are, and died for us anyway. He is God. If we do not exercise the same Godly resolve to attach ourselves to a mate, separation is eventual. Such strength of conviction is only possible with God. We are too often influenced by our emotional responses to that which we deem unpleasant or disagreeable. This is the tough stuff of relationships. Seven years into a relationship there is very little dopamine, and far less newness. There is only increasing familiarity. The old expression comes to mind, “familiarity breeds contempt”. There is a reason.