The Work

01/27/2005
My fatigue is but a small price to pay for the luxury of again participating in the lively art of civilization. I was little more than a bump on a wall today, contributing only attentiveness to the work of the day. Nevertheless, its nice to be home again.
Stephen's message guides my mind, that is, twice was the word sent before it was obeyed.
Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and come into the land which I shall show thee.
I left Chicago, and ventured into San Mateo. I was later guided to Laguna Beach.
My second visit to Texas marked the end of contention, and ushered in the arrival into Laguna; all well after the death of both my father and mother. I shudder to consider the possibility of further similarity in the course of my life to that of the children of Israel. It was at this point that they multiplied, were terrorozed by an Assyrian, persecuted, baptized in the Red Sea, and delivered out of the hands of their enemies. However, once saved, each adult erred, and was prevented from crossing over into the land promised by their deliverer.
Here's the rub:
Deliverance has never been the problem. Continuing on the upright path seems to always become second to forefront frustration. The first time in Laguna, my son was first to occupy my mind, and distract my course. Then misplacing good judgment, I left my first apartment seeking God, yet finding error. Then I sought love, but settled for sex, resulting in guilt and marriage. What's more, my commitment was marred by realizations of the bittersweetness of the good intentions of others, both familial and chosen. I sought to write, yet wrote of secondary subject matter. Then there was the my true wilderness experience ... alone for eleven years, drifting between loneliness and emptiness, and back again.
This new day ends the sojourn and the flight. Home again in Labeana Guch. Daily I open my eyes wide to see all that is set before me, seeking to finally take possession of the promise; and the land.
I seek the open door.